Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Name of the Day: September 1, 2010
Brinkley traveled to the village of Jericho, the only man in the world who knew what dreams meant. When he arrived at the gates of Jericho’s manor, the princess turned him back, and he boarded a ship to return to his homeland.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Vault of Band Names
Not the easiest thing to describe in the world, these creations that are bulleted below started out as band names. But like everything worth anything, they evolved and became entities of their own, into phrases, sentences, and stories. Feel free to browse through them and write your own in the comments.
Note that this page started out as a Jesus Fighter Pilots page for short films, but that has since moved to www.jesusfighterpilots.com
Note that this page started out as a Jesus Fighter Pilots page for short films, but that has since moved to www.jesusfighterpilots.com
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
New Real Estate
-The islander with the wrench knew his only escape was death
-Clay Aiken
-The apple of my eye, the mango of my loins
-Foul Shirley is rubbing mayo on my children, what should I do? Look to the Bible, woman!
-The world winked at Robert and he frowned
-Edward got a call for duty. He was accompanied on the starship and acknowledged by his crew as Salamander Dickface.
-The remaining few within the mall scrambled about for that gift that just wouldn’t show itself as Jerry calmly paced through the scattering souls. Cages closed and exit doors opened. Jerry rolled his bucket into the glass box. Outside, Thanksgiving rain fell down as the janitor and his elevator went up.
-Lose the cheap, know it all personality
-Smoothie Stomachache
-Cerebral-palsy cat
-Clay Aiken
-The apple of my eye, the mango of my loins
-Foul Shirley is rubbing mayo on my children, what should I do? Look to the Bible, woman!
-The world winked at Robert and he frowned
-Edward got a call for duty. He was accompanied on the starship and acknowledged by his crew as Salamander Dickface.
-The remaining few within the mall scrambled about for that gift that just wouldn’t show itself as Jerry calmly paced through the scattering souls. Cages closed and exit doors opened. Jerry rolled his bucket into the glass box. Outside, Thanksgiving rain fell down as the janitor and his elevator went up.
-Lose the cheap, know it all personality
-Smoothie Stomachache
-Cerebral-palsy cat
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Names
NAMES!
The little girl whispered to me, “Diamonds…” and I gave her hand a squeeze. Smiling, we ran together across the wooden bridge to the imposing mausoleum on the other side.
Mr. Prosser roamed the streets of Baltimore with a whip and a book of poetry.
Rubbing Balogne
Nick Dettmer vs. the Chicago Bulls
Greg was toying around with volume swells on his Mark Tremonti signature guitar when he stumbled upon a love note from Claire Sieren to DeBruycker.
Mr. McGranahan played the devil’s advocate and rode the escalator to Matt Debryucker’s house
The musk-ox gangsters roamed free on the plains, and they respected none.
Joey Gladstone arrived at the Festival, and everything became silent. His pace quickened (why are you here, harlot?), and his eyes rested on the red brick building to his left. Spot barked, and he killed it. When he looked up from skinning the dog, the moon had risen, and thetroops were marching in the streets.
Lured by Scott Stapp’s evangelical voice in Creed’s Arms Wide Open, Michael Christ decided to attend Sunday School, where he discovered that he was in fact a direct decendant of Jesus Christ. The Jews in the Western Loudoun area were promptly notified, and poor little Michael was crucified by 7:00.
Someone left their baby on the bus and didn’t come back. It turns out that baby crawled up onto an unsuspecting citizen, sleeping with their mouth open…
Tales of Ancient Mammals
Gradually, during his three week stay at the YMCA, Jerry grew quite fond of the counselor’s wake up calls: firm ass slaps.
Matt Debrxeqer’s Face
“I LOVE you!! Fuck off!!” yelled Tony to Jessica. “Gator golf!! WHORE CUNT!!” the deadly mix of malt liquer and Torrets syndrome weighed down the criminal as he scaled a fence into his neighbor’s yard; they were enjoying a quick basting in vegetable oil, before slipping down theslip-and-slide.
Meet my baby she’s anxious
Rubbing the kinks out of your Pants
It was colder than he ever remembered for a homecoming. Todd messed with the defroster as the town came into view over the crest of the hill, decorated with banners, posters, and the likes. He pulled up at the first of many unnecessary stoplights as his mind fell deep into apprehension of who’d he see on that frozen day. His thoughts could only wander so long because of some jackass honking wildly behind him. It was only after these sounds broke the ice of Todd’s zoning out that the entire town lining the streets materialized as he turned around fearing the worst. Instead of an obsessed parent seeking her beloved daughter playing the flute marching, as Todd had supposed, a gigantic battleship with wheels screaming ‘06 was bearing down on him. A spectator questioned, forthe first time, the local high school and its decision to make a weathered 1992 blue Volvo lead the annual parade. Todd floored it. In a flurry of angry local police, distinguished members of the PTA, a balding principal, candy-hungry children, and a laughing janitor, theVolvo roared, peeled out, and shot through the next three stoplights out of that fish bowl. “Maybe in twenty years,” Todd thought.
The Ape Song
Jebediah felt a cold chill when he peeked under the robes of his nine-year old cousin and saw the hard, wrinkly skin of disease.
Skanky has humongous genitalia
Tommy the tricycle mechanic
Hunter clenched his fists, flexed his bisceps, and climbed out of the womb, into a world of hatred.
There was a creak of church floorboards, and everyone craned their necks to see Buddha ride a tidal wave through the stained glass calling out Jesus in tongues for a showdown that would rock the world, like a baby, a baby that had no name but still paid social security.
Florida was the site of the tortoise race. Steve mounted his tortoise, grabbed the reins, and took off. Sam promptly detonated some plastic explosives on its back, and the race was won.
The cold settled in for the long stay and the Chinese bundled up.
That’s my pubic hair Mr. Constantinopal
Finishing a hard day’s work of rural labor early, I stepped into the barn, golden candles spread around. That night I took the virginity of the metropolitan goddess, my wife sleeping heavily in our bedroom. Months later, as I traveled into the city to buy some vegetables at the market, I saw her huddled amongst the others, begging for money. Dropping the used Trojan into her cap, I walked away without meeting her eyes, my unborn progeny graced by divinity.
Hopscotch is a game for Kings in Boron’s mind… that’s what makes him a homosexual… and a cheap one at that. But I can’t stop admiring his facial beauty and elegance.
Daniel was a fan of the fine arts but was banned when he received a urinary tract infection. He wet his bed later that night and loved every minute.
The storm shook the five o’clock passengers, expressing their days to Tokyo for an afternoon of Aikido and jet-black hair transplants.
Daniel struggled through the rigors of a three-year religious revival that his parents forced him to go to only to find the shocking truth at the end of his journey: God was a stark image in each camper’s mind, and in his own, he realized, he saw only the vacant stare of his twin, Mist Leopard.
Fiber-optic genocide
Singleterry had his eyes sewed shut and the next day God appeared for a special treat for the village people, the doctors took outthe strings but the weasel snuck out with the eyes…ha, he thought they were testicles.
The private eye wandered the mean streets of the city and walked by a ragged derelict waking up with a ten-granola-bar hangover and a Sunbelt box lying on its side beside him.
Pooping Humphrey got a winger from staring at Becky
Darius the Genome and his “Yes” Train
The body odor was overpowering as Bob hauled the dead horse off the railroad tracks. “What?” he asked to no one.
The nervy businessman walked into the traps set by the White Rabbit on his way to Bombay to sell software. That’s why I only do business in Calcutta.
Chalk outline hopscotch
Brinkley traveled to the village of Jericho, the only man in the world who knew what dreams meant. When he arrived at thegates of Jericho’s manor, the princess turned him back, and he boarded a ship to return to his homeland.
And other reasons Carl disappeared
The little girl whispered to me, “Diamonds…” and I gave her hand a squeeze. Smiling, we ran together across the wooden bridge to the imposing mausoleum on the other side.
Mr. Prosser roamed the streets of Baltimore with a whip and a book of poetry.
Rubbing Balogne
Nick Dettmer vs. the Chicago Bulls
Greg was toying around with volume swells on his Mark Tremonti signature guitar when he stumbled upon a love note from Claire Sieren to DeBruycker.
Mr. McGranahan played the devil’s advocate and rode the escalator to Matt Debryucker’s house
The musk-ox gangsters roamed free on the plains, and they respected none.
Joey Gladstone arrived at the Festival, and everything became silent. His pace quickened (why are you here, harlot?), and his eyes rested on the red brick building to his left. Spot barked, and he killed it. When he looked up from skinning the dog, the moon had risen, and thetroops were marching in the streets.
Lured by Scott Stapp’s evangelical voice in Creed’s Arms Wide Open, Michael Christ decided to attend Sunday School, where he discovered that he was in fact a direct decendant of Jesus Christ. The Jews in the Western Loudoun area were promptly notified, and poor little Michael was crucified by 7:00.
Someone left their baby on the bus and didn’t come back. It turns out that baby crawled up onto an unsuspecting citizen, sleeping with their mouth open…
Tales of Ancient Mammals
Gradually, during his three week stay at the YMCA, Jerry grew quite fond of the counselor’s wake up calls: firm ass slaps.
Matt Debrxeqer’s Face
“I LOVE you!! Fuck off!!” yelled Tony to Jessica. “Gator golf!! WHORE CUNT!!” the deadly mix of malt liquer and Torrets syndrome weighed down the criminal as he scaled a fence into his neighbor’s yard; they were enjoying a quick basting in vegetable oil, before slipping down theslip-and-slide.
Meet my baby she’s anxious
Rubbing the kinks out of your Pants
It was colder than he ever remembered for a homecoming. Todd messed with the defroster as the town came into view over the crest of the hill, decorated with banners, posters, and the likes. He pulled up at the first of many unnecessary stoplights as his mind fell deep into apprehension of who’d he see on that frozen day. His thoughts could only wander so long because of some jackass honking wildly behind him. It was only after these sounds broke the ice of Todd’s zoning out that the entire town lining the streets materialized as he turned around fearing the worst. Instead of an obsessed parent seeking her beloved daughter playing the flute marching, as Todd had supposed, a gigantic battleship with wheels screaming ‘06 was bearing down on him. A spectator questioned, forthe first time, the local high school and its decision to make a weathered 1992 blue Volvo lead the annual parade. Todd floored it. In a flurry of angry local police, distinguished members of the PTA, a balding principal, candy-hungry children, and a laughing janitor, theVolvo roared, peeled out, and shot through the next three stoplights out of that fish bowl. “Maybe in twenty years,” Todd thought.
The Ape Song
Jebediah felt a cold chill when he peeked under the robes of his nine-year old cousin and saw the hard, wrinkly skin of disease.
Skanky has humongous genitalia
Tommy the tricycle mechanic
Hunter clenched his fists, flexed his bisceps, and climbed out of the womb, into a world of hatred.
There was a creak of church floorboards, and everyone craned their necks to see Buddha ride a tidal wave through the stained glass calling out Jesus in tongues for a showdown that would rock the world, like a baby, a baby that had no name but still paid social security.
Florida was the site of the tortoise race. Steve mounted his tortoise, grabbed the reins, and took off. Sam promptly detonated some plastic explosives on its back, and the race was won.
The cold settled in for the long stay and the Chinese bundled up.
That’s my pubic hair Mr. Constantinopal
Finishing a hard day’s work of rural labor early, I stepped into the barn, golden candles spread around. That night I took the virginity of the metropolitan goddess, my wife sleeping heavily in our bedroom. Months later, as I traveled into the city to buy some vegetables at the market, I saw her huddled amongst the others, begging for money. Dropping the used Trojan into her cap, I walked away without meeting her eyes, my unborn progeny graced by divinity.
Hopscotch is a game for Kings in Boron’s mind… that’s what makes him a homosexual… and a cheap one at that. But I can’t stop admiring his facial beauty and elegance.
Daniel was a fan of the fine arts but was banned when he received a urinary tract infection. He wet his bed later that night and loved every minute.
The storm shook the five o’clock passengers, expressing their days to Tokyo for an afternoon of Aikido and jet-black hair transplants.
Daniel struggled through the rigors of a three-year religious revival that his parents forced him to go to only to find the shocking truth at the end of his journey: God was a stark image in each camper’s mind, and in his own, he realized, he saw only the vacant stare of his twin, Mist Leopard.
Fiber-optic genocide
Singleterry had his eyes sewed shut and the next day God appeared for a special treat for the village people, the doctors took outthe strings but the weasel snuck out with the eyes…ha, he thought they were testicles.
The private eye wandered the mean streets of the city and walked by a ragged derelict waking up with a ten-granola-bar hangover and a Sunbelt box lying on its side beside him.
Pooping Humphrey got a winger from staring at Becky
Darius the Genome and his “Yes” Train
The body odor was overpowering as Bob hauled the dead horse off the railroad tracks. “What?” he asked to no one.
The nervy businessman walked into the traps set by the White Rabbit on his way to Bombay to sell software. That’s why I only do business in Calcutta.
Chalk outline hopscotch
Brinkley traveled to the village of Jericho, the only man in the world who knew what dreams meant. When he arrived at thegates of Jericho’s manor, the princess turned him back, and he boarded a ship to return to his homeland.
And other reasons Carl disappeared
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Names
All right, make sure you read through all these because there's a lot this time around. Trying to catch up with the days...
The dinosaurs became extinct and thus ended the golden age of cafeteria food
Robert: “My money is on the kid with no ears.”
Jonathan: “Are you sure? Big dyke has got a hell of a right hook!”
His time-tested accuracy was unerring. As the shot rang out in the warm dusk air, blood and brain matter spurted out of theanimal’s head. He smiled at the job well done, but then a small child coming out the hole the dying animal appeared in his sights. Something evil and primitive
glinted in his eyes.
Jimmy said he wore a jock-strap, but I had my doubts
“Man that cow’s shit is really pouring out!”
“Well take a picture if you like it so much.”
“I already did”
Suddenly the ferret as caught with its thumb up its ass but he didn’t care, he was king
The breeze blew quietly over the plains as Greg’s body hung lifelessly on a tree branch, his immortal gaze turned west.
Warren the smart ass
Calvalry went through the portal into crypt. It was musty in here, and he was wearing no pants. His torch burned out, and the water dripping echoed through the dank tombs. He heard a quiet mutter and the torch lighted itself again. He was in Daniel’s basement.
Warm sighs of relief tumbled out of the mouths of the Sarajevo boys, and their mother finally let them rest. Each of them would treasure this sexual experience for the rest of their lives.
Julio mounted his broom. He took off lightly, and soared up into the night sky. He was nearing the northwest wind path, when suddenly he heard a swooping behind him. His heart raced as he saw the black caped man hard on his heels, hugging his broomstick right behind Julios. Julio panicked and tried to go into a roll, out of his current wind. But the caped man raised his large net and swung down, netting Julio. Within minutes, he had Julio tied up on the ground, and the sky was safe from broom-riding Mexicans for tonight.
Kirkpatrick took a wrong turn and ended up in Asshole Town
The blight had been hurting our farms dearly for the past months. Children in the streets collapsed and bled out of their mouths; mothers ate there rotting child corpses; men hunted the bearmen for the first time in centuries. At night, the villagers could see through the windowsof the distant castle the young prince making love to the more exotic girls from the village. Damned sinners.
HEY Georgie! That Gorilla’s chewing Big Leage Chew
Ludwig Van Nia
“My friends say I’m the shit”
”You don’t have any friends Herman…. But you are the shit.”
The breeze sighed high in the pine trees, and the caribou dropped feces on the tall stranger’s pocketwatch he dropped when he passed by earlier.
It was well into the second shift when Mario reached for his marmot, only to find a tiny, folded note saying: I’ve decided to seek my fortune at the Indian Casino.
The Kingdom of the Everlasting Quiet was stark and barren as I awoke. A fog was lying on the ground, and as I looked out from my castle window, I could see my father laying dead below.
John lazily tossed his cigarette off the bridge and watched winter come… and with it, his death
Puritan Zane
Tommy the tricycle mechanic
After I walked in to the chemistry lab and whitnessed Mr. Dawson hatefully slipping the American flag in nitro-glycerine, my time withthe Indians finally made since in my life as I was able to easily strike him down with only a prayer and a sacred tomahawk.
“Say Mr. Cadberry, how do they get the filling into Cadberry eggs?”
“Well Jimmy that can all be explained by sucking my penis.”
James Earl Jones’ german diaper chronicles
The trapper gazed wistfully into the misty mountains trying to smell where the beavers were
Steven Spurlock was forced to leave his cool at the door upon entering the YMCA. At the end of the day the inhuman counselors noticed a pile of dust underneath an ironed pants suit.
Mary and I lay for hours discussing the particulars of how to avoid typhoid fever, shoot a dozen squirrels, and ford a river, while pops replaced the wagon wheel outside. A thick mist seeped in and I wondered if life was too contrived.
When Debryucker wrote “Daniel sleeps with his backpack on”, it was the best day of his life
John the Baptist and his nephew sold me the blackest rum I’d ever know.
And the wild shaman layed back and enjoyed the delights of Danny Elfman’s daughter
We all shared needles a lot and everything was peachy keen. Magic Johnson was out leader. He bought the stuff.
Simon whistled into the cold night as he wheeled in the third elephant corpse of the week to the makeshift tomb under the circus. It was his fault?
The dinosaurs became extinct and thus ended the golden age of cafeteria food
Robert: “My money is on the kid with no ears.”
Jonathan: “Are you sure? Big dyke has got a hell of a right hook!”
His time-tested accuracy was unerring. As the shot rang out in the warm dusk air, blood and brain matter spurted out of theanimal’s head. He smiled at the job well done, but then a small child coming out the hole the dying animal appeared in his sights. Something evil and primitive
glinted in his eyes.
Jimmy said he wore a jock-strap, but I had my doubts
“Man that cow’s shit is really pouring out!”
“Well take a picture if you like it so much.”
“I already did”
Suddenly the ferret as caught with its thumb up its ass but he didn’t care, he was king
The breeze blew quietly over the plains as Greg’s body hung lifelessly on a tree branch, his immortal gaze turned west.
Warren the smart ass
Calvalry went through the portal into crypt. It was musty in here, and he was wearing no pants. His torch burned out, and the water dripping echoed through the dank tombs. He heard a quiet mutter and the torch lighted itself again. He was in Daniel’s basement.
Warm sighs of relief tumbled out of the mouths of the Sarajevo boys, and their mother finally let them rest. Each of them would treasure this sexual experience for the rest of their lives.
Julio mounted his broom. He took off lightly, and soared up into the night sky. He was nearing the northwest wind path, when suddenly he heard a swooping behind him. His heart raced as he saw the black caped man hard on his heels, hugging his broomstick right behind Julios. Julio panicked and tried to go into a roll, out of his current wind. But the caped man raised his large net and swung down, netting Julio. Within minutes, he had Julio tied up on the ground, and the sky was safe from broom-riding Mexicans for tonight.
Kirkpatrick took a wrong turn and ended up in Asshole Town
The blight had been hurting our farms dearly for the past months. Children in the streets collapsed and bled out of their mouths; mothers ate there rotting child corpses; men hunted the bearmen for the first time in centuries. At night, the villagers could see through the windowsof the distant castle the young prince making love to the more exotic girls from the village. Damned sinners.
HEY Georgie! That Gorilla’s chewing Big Leage Chew
Ludwig Van Nia
“My friends say I’m the shit”
”You don’t have any friends Herman…. But you are the shit.”
The breeze sighed high in the pine trees, and the caribou dropped feces on the tall stranger’s pocketwatch he dropped when he passed by earlier.
It was well into the second shift when Mario reached for his marmot, only to find a tiny, folded note saying: I’ve decided to seek my fortune at the Indian Casino.
The Kingdom of the Everlasting Quiet was stark and barren as I awoke. A fog was lying on the ground, and as I looked out from my castle window, I could see my father laying dead below.
John lazily tossed his cigarette off the bridge and watched winter come… and with it, his death
Puritan Zane
Tommy the tricycle mechanic
After I walked in to the chemistry lab and whitnessed Mr. Dawson hatefully slipping the American flag in nitro-glycerine, my time withthe Indians finally made since in my life as I was able to easily strike him down with only a prayer and a sacred tomahawk.
“Say Mr. Cadberry, how do they get the filling into Cadberry eggs?”
“Well Jimmy that can all be explained by sucking my penis.”
James Earl Jones’ german diaper chronicles
The trapper gazed wistfully into the misty mountains trying to smell where the beavers were
Steven Spurlock was forced to leave his cool at the door upon entering the YMCA. At the end of the day the inhuman counselors noticed a pile of dust underneath an ironed pants suit.
Mary and I lay for hours discussing the particulars of how to avoid typhoid fever, shoot a dozen squirrels, and ford a river, while pops replaced the wagon wheel outside. A thick mist seeped in and I wondered if life was too contrived.
When Debryucker wrote “Daniel sleeps with his backpack on”, it was the best day of his life
John the Baptist and his nephew sold me the blackest rum I’d ever know.
And the wild shaman layed back and enjoyed the delights of Danny Elfman’s daughter
We all shared needles a lot and everything was peachy keen. Magic Johnson was out leader. He bought the stuff.
Simon whistled into the cold night as he wheeled in the third elephant corpse of the week to the makeshift tomb under the circus. It was his fault?
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Names
“Ted, who are you waiting for?”
“Shut up”
My tooth decay turns Mona on, but it’s my gingervitis that gets her in the sack. Cha-ching!
Gingervaginis, Billy. Get it right.
The Lords of Art were disciplined masters. Whilst Florenzo was a violin virtuoso, Corietta dressed as if possesed by winter. The others all had their own breathtaking talents. Their leader, the Unseen One, presided over them silently with a watchful eye. Douglas secretly wished he would be let in some day for his yo-yo talents.
He drew a self-portrait, but his teacher said his shanks weren’t long enough. Pervert.
Timmons nipped at my heels, and I collapsed. I heard a murmur, and nimble fingers crawled down my back…
Religion blows
Jonathan… and his sheepish grin
Ausitn Caldwell 3:16
Huck squatted down on all fours, raised his hips, and raised his ass into the air. Peanut butter started coming out.
My knopkins smell of platypus
“Shut up”
My tooth decay turns Mona on, but it’s my gingervitis that gets her in the sack. Cha-ching!
Gingervaginis, Billy. Get it right.
The Lords of Art were disciplined masters. Whilst Florenzo was a violin virtuoso, Corietta dressed as if possesed by winter. The others all had their own breathtaking talents. Their leader, the Unseen One, presided over them silently with a watchful eye. Douglas secretly wished he would be let in some day for his yo-yo talents.
He drew a self-portrait, but his teacher said his shanks weren’t long enough. Pervert.
Timmons nipped at my heels, and I collapsed. I heard a murmur, and nimble fingers crawled down my back…
Religion blows
Jonathan… and his sheepish grin
Ausitn Caldwell 3:16
Huck squatted down on all fours, raised his hips, and raised his ass into the air. Peanut butter started coming out.
My knopkins smell of platypus
Monday, June 29, 2009
Names
-Sherman Williams the preacher thought he lost the bet, but then he realized his life was already over
-raped by an angel
-Shamiqua transformed topless dancing into an art form with her graceful moves and tasteful musical choices.
-Paco found it hard to control his yearning for Maria and her ravenous hips when she showed up to class in nothing but a bathrobe
-“Count Chocula?”, “It was all they had.”
-Dave said he had the money but we all knew he spent it on booze
-Pardon me, while I provide the Daycare children with CRACK
-Buttery Jimmies and a Man’s Good Looks
-shoelace evidence
-Zack Lungren versus the Toronto Maple Leafs
-raped by an angel
-Shamiqua transformed topless dancing into an art form with her graceful moves and tasteful musical choices.
-Paco found it hard to control his yearning for Maria and her ravenous hips when she showed up to class in nothing but a bathrobe
-“Count Chocula?”, “It was all they had.”
-Dave said he had the money but we all knew he spent it on booze
-Pardon me, while I provide the Daycare children with CRACK
-Buttery Jimmies and a Man’s Good Looks
-shoelace evidence
-Zack Lungren versus the Toronto Maple Leafs
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