Remember to read and write comments! Here are the next ten selected names:
-Stare at my Slammin’ Ass
-The large clock in the great hall struck Alice in the face
-Feeble Conor climbs out of the crapper only to receive more beatings
-It was my first time in bed with Susan but something didn’t feel right; I reached for the baseball bat behind the bed
-When the Amish leave their farms we can turn them into phat farms.
-Throwing Baby Joseph (Out the Window)
-George Harrison once told me he could hook me up with his dentist, but I spat and wished him well. A kaleidoscope of colors coated the dim London streets that night, but I went home, unaware, to my wife and prayed.
-I once shit in some little kid’s cubby
-Professor Saratoga M.D. Doctorate in being a Douchebag Bachelor’s in prolonging miseries Majors in alcoholics
-Dependable Joey, always sad
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13 comments:
Jimbo was the best worker we ever had, until the assembly line was invented. Darn' innovation consumed him then took his life.
"Virgil loved Popsicles, till that sick bastard Gus Rockefeller pulled off the prank of the century."
"Poor guy"
John was always the best at turning lemons into lemonade, but after his dad's alcoholism went full blown and he informed of us his glass bottle tree house, we decided to phase him out of the group.
"Peter was the most demented hare I ever knew!"
"That sumbitch had a rabits foot hangin from his rear view mirror."
"Dude, did you see that?! That eagle just beat the shit out of those gang bangers!"
"Last week he snatched up my pack of cigarettes!"
After Wonka was gone, Charlie proved ill equipped to manage such a place. Damming the Chocolate River to expand candy crop yield caused an outbreak of syphilis amongst the Oompaloompas. It was only a matter of time before they breached the last defenses to his office. Staring down at a photo, the mocking smile of his mentor, in his lap he took one last swig of the peppermint schnaps and grabbed the Springfield XD Ported V-10 .40 Caliber off his desk. High pitched voices came screaming at him from outside. Adrenaline and serotonin pumping from the bottle of E just consumed, he belt out a ruined cry, jammed the barrel into his mouth and pulled the trigger... chocolate?
The last name is obscenely ridiculous. I love the variety of styles in these names, it's like everyone mixed together into one disgusting and exhilirating package, and I'm pissed off I don't have the kinda creative drive to write as many names as this right now. I should get to work on that.
Also, Daniel, you just kept going with the add-ons in the Saratoga name, didn't you? Haha
By the way, when I was talking about the "last name" in my above comment and the rest of the comment, I'm referring to Zack's names.
yeah, Zack you were really getting some monkeys off your back with these names eh? Love the randomness of them.
I'll give Stare at my Slammin' Ass its due as the greatest name on this list, but phat farms is my favorite. I love the use of "we" in it.
I think I'm gonna go with "Throwing Baby Joseph (Out the Window)" simply because I'm worn out from reading most of the others, though it hurts not to pick "Dependable Joey, always sad"
Who the hell gets worn out from reading I once shit in some little kid's cubby? Tell me that.
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